Hopeful that Blumhouse’s newest would be supercharged by a performance from West Side Story Oscar-winner Ariana DeBose led to my interest in House of Spoils, a wicked culinary flick with a witchy twist. Unfortunately, the trailer gave away the only moments of actual action and terror. Writer/director duo Bridget Savage Cole and Danielle Krudy team up to craft a female-driven semi-horror flick that remains entirely too surface-level throughout its slowly-paced runtime. Directionless and lacking tension, House of Spoils tastes undercooked and misguided. Other than DeBose, this middling streaming release leaves the palate mere minutes after it concludes.
As the story begins, Chef (DeBose) abruptly leaves her job at a classy restaurant to pursue a lifelong dream. Despite her boss offering to double Chef’s salary, becoming head chef at a place of her own simply cannot be bought. Teamed up with her partner, Andres (Arian Moayed), Chef plots to make this new spot a destination dining experience for only the most sophisticated. Of course, it would probably help her cause if the selected spot looked even halfway as good on the inside as it did on the outside. Instead, things seem to be rotting from the moment Chef steps foot on the premises.
There are some definite interesting ideas floating around, paramount of which is Chef and her sous-chef-in-training, Lucia (Barbie Ferreira), sampling all of the flora and fauna to craft their menu. The food element never fails to captivate, teasing notes of The Menu or even FX’s The Bear, yet free from its nail-biting mania. The horror, on the other hand, is decidedly less successful. Apparently, the previous owner of the home deep in the woods was a witch, sporting her own coven. Chef sees this witch presented as an old woman, merely in glimpses. Even in the scariest sequence in House of Spoils—Chef must crawl through an underground tunnel—the duo of directors mishandle their greatest asset in DeBose herself. Surely, the seasoned actress is more than capable of delivering a scream queen worthy performance. They just do not give her the material to do much of anything beyond snap at the lack of perfection she sees in the kitchen. A metaphor concerning creative freedom keeps trying to break free, but is stifled by the slow-moving witch angle.
Chef eventually gives a promise to Andres that she will entirely revamp the menu in just two weeks, putting a ticking clock on her progress. Yet, as an audience, we never feel the timer counting down. As a movie, House of Spoils feels as aimless as its head Chef, and ultimately a missed opportunity. It lacks a gross, biting edge, accompanied by minimal moments of impact occurring in the entire runtime. There are countless food puns to describe the genuine underwhelming nature of this hollow script. Instead, the most fitting remark comes from a critic within the film, claiming Chef to be cooking “with no soul.” Despite the promise of its setup, House of Spoils is a mostly soulless affair.
Try to halt the rotting in House of Spoils, expiring from obscurity from Prime Video subscribers on Thursday, October 3rd.
