Russell Crowe headlining another exorcism film so soon after 2023’s The Pope’s Exorcist may be cause for a double take. Has the seasoned actor found himself a mid-life demonic niche for his talents? While I missed out on last year’s horror flick, the blandly-named The Exorcism did not exactly give me hope nor any drive to seek out more. Issues plaguing this subgenre are prevalent here, from the ridiculous dialogue to questionable visuals, Catholic mumbo jumbo, and overt overacting. However, if hearing Crowe tell his daughter of her potential love interest “she’s never gonna eat your pussy like I will” sounds appealing, the horror/thriller from director/co-writer Joshua John Miller (screenwriter of 2016’s excellent The Final Girls) may scratch that spooky itch. Needlessly botching its promising concept and barely attempting to stand out from the indistinguishably bland brothers and sisters of the possession subgenre, The Exorcism is even more boring and uninspired than its generic title would suggest.
After a cold open with the offscreen death of an actor stumbling around a film set entirely alone, the director must now replace his lead. Who could be a better fit but Anthony Miller (Crowe), a notorious rehabilitated drunkard who recently lost his wife to cancer? Seeking redemption from both his introvert daughter, Lee (Ryan Simpkins), and the Hollywood community, Anthony sees his new project as a potential life resurgence. Lee becomes a personal assistant on set, as she has been kicked out of school and in need of a major change herself. The Exorcism splits itself up into days of the film shoot, weirdly cobbling together events in a disjointed way that just comes off as lazy. There appears to be no rhyme or reason behind some scenes and entire characters. One has to wonder what drew Crowe to the project, or equally high profile Sam Worthington—Worthington in particular fills a role barely above a cameo.
As the filming begins, Anthony’s behavior grows more disruptive, while the awful director berates and belittles him around every bend. Occasionally, Joshua John Miller finds eerie imagery to adequately shake up the formula we expect, but the glimmers fail to leave any lasting impression. The very idea of a film shoot being plagued by a potential curse seems novel, especially as evidenced by accidents or oversights in pop culture juggernauts such as The Exorcist and Poltergeist. Notorious stories from these and many more have been catalogued in various productions. Any single one of those instances provides more interest than whatever was being attempted here. An intriguing setup has almost been squandered before it even begins, mistaking cheap jump scares and creepy, empty sets for anything approaching actual scares. As a result, tension, too, is virtually nonexistent.
What went wrong here? On purely a script level, none of this works. Why are there no cameras on set when most film studios are more locked down than Fort Knox? Why do they continue the shoot as increasingly weird things happen? Why does Lee have barely any reaction to her father’s downward spiral? Does anyone know how to call the cops? Only one conversation happens about a potential curse on set, mentioning the opening death yet failing to engage with the idea in any meaningful way. The meta opportunities are endless, so why does The Exorcism refuse to embrace them?
The freaky moments, as a result of the overacting and the clunky structure, fail to impress. There comes a point where one has been desensitized to figures standing in corners, or watching someone bang their head against hard objects over and over again. A major lack of originality upsets merely because most of the cast clearly has talent. Chloe Bailey, sister of The Little Mermaid breakout Halle Bailey, has no purpose here other than to distract Lee. A scene where she must play the equivalent of The Exorcist‘s Regan has some incredibly poor makeup. When Scary Movie 2, a parody film released over two decades ago, has more polish and cohesiveness than a modern day exorcism twist starring Russell Crowe, maybe we need to go back to the drawing board. Throwing a few cuts and scratches on an actor’s faces does not make them look possessed. Lacking anything approaching logic, The Exorcism fails on multiple levels egregiously on its way to fulfilling a dollar bin destiny.
Seek professional help for a good old-fashioned dose of The Exorcism, possessing theatres on Friday, June 21st.
