The modern rom-com has overseen so many different evolutions over the years, and French Girl, starring Zach Braff, Vanessa Hudgens, and Evelyne Brochu feels like it has not learned a thing from any of them. Arriving on the heels of Anyone But You reaching almost $100 million at the box office, French Girl lacks the hilariously memorable moments and sizzling chemistry of the best in its genre. Writer/director team Nicolas Wright and James A. Woods clearly understand the language of a rom-com, but not what makes them stand out from the crowd. Notably, the film is actually Zach Braff’s first rom-com since 2006’s The Ex, and aptly, French Girl could have been pulled from the same murky waters.
Middle school English teacher Gordon (Braff) seems to have hit the jackpot when it comes to love. The object of his affection, the namesake “French girl,” Sophie (Brochu), works as a professional cook. Why has she chosen him, a man who cannot make an eggs Benedict from a cookbook recipe without burning it to a crisp? Somehow, the two are so close that the time has come for Gordon to request his mother’s ring to pop the big question. Most abruptly, Sophie runs into her old fling, Ruby (Hudgens), who proposes an interview for the executive chef position at Ruby’s new restaurant. French Girl twists the formula ever-so-slightly from what we have come to expect. Rather than another man that Gordon must compete with for Sophie’s attention, stern lady boss Ruby wants back her ex in a major way.
Gordon and Sophie must relocate from Brooklyn to Quebec City in Canada, presenting its own unique blend of issues. Meet the Parents this is not, but French Girl sees Gordon trying his hardest to impress them, too. Sophie’s brother needs to learn English to pass a test and get off the family farm. Who better to help than an English teacher? Sophie’s family mostly speaks strictly French (what a surprise), making it a generally bilingual experience. As Sophie enters the running to make Ruby’s “elevated dining experience” a reality, Gordon gets trapped in a cycle of trying to outmaneuver Ruby.
Aside from the very important fact that its two leads have almost no chemistry, the main issue I had with French Girl is that Sophie never seems to even consider choosing Ruby over Gordon. Minimal conflict does not a great rom-com make, but it is not necessarily a dealbreaker. This iteration throws in a handful of silly moments, such as a weird family swan named Cuckoo, and an extended sequence where Gordon wrestles with a corpse for a ring. These may mildly amuse less picky audience members. With far greater rom-coms accessible on nearly every major streaming platform or dirt cheap physical media options, recommending a sit-down dinner date with French Girl seems misguided. As they awkwardly say within the film, the show must go on. In this case, I recommend to “go on” to an entirely different romantic comedy.
Import yourself a French Girl, when this rom-com comes to theaters on Friday, March 15th, and to digital on March 19th.
