Far more than just a Gremlins clone from director Joe Dante, Small Soldiers left an indelible mark on the millennials who obsessively rewatched it. Its brand of dark humor and violent action with touches of horror certainly took some cues from Child’s Play. Whether you were Team Commando Elite or Team Gorgonites, there was a little something here for everyone, and with seemingly endless marketing potential to boot. There were even the Gwendy dolls for the girls in the audience, albeit with a sinister edge. Rewatching so many years removed from the original theatrical release, Small Soldiers feels shockingly prescient with a storyline way ahead of its time. What if toys were smart enough to play back? A simple computer chip can breathe life into toys—does this make them sentient beings, capable of real emotions? The script from Adam Rifkin, Ted Elliott, Gavin Scott, and Terry Rossio may not explore the morality of this scenario in detail, but that they were raising these questions at all in an action movie aimed at families was a small marvel in itself. Surprisingly violent and ridiculously entertaining, Small Soldiers proves that big things come in small packages.
Globotech, the engineering giant, shifts to family entertainment by pairing with Heartland PlaySystems. The first item on their agenda: create toys that are smart enough to play back, ones that actually do what they show on the commercials. Heralded by maniacal CEO Gil Mars (Denis Leary), and designed by toymakers Irwin (David Cross) and Larry (Jay Mohr), two dueling toy factions are born. First up are the Commando Elite, the suave soldiers with one clear mission above all others: vaporize the Gorgonite scum. The Gorgonites, led by sweet Archer (Frank Langella), have a simple goal of returning to their home island of Gorgon. Mars makes these very different toys in constant battle with one another despite Irwin’s specific protests—he has created the Gorgonites as an innocent brand of toy with distinctly quirky personalities and appearances, and this goes against everything they stand for.
Naturally, the creation of the toys utilizes a major no-no: perhaps as a cost-saving feature, Larry opts to go with microchips designed for advanced battlefield technology. Against all laws of logic and nature, these chips create sentient beings. Major Chip Hazard (Tommy Lee Jones), leader of the Commando Elite, will do whatever it takes to eliminate the Gorgonites from the face of the planet, even if he has to take innocent human hostages or casualties in the process. This leads to all manner of absolutely bonkers situations, especially after the full roster of the Commando Elite create dangerous vehicles armed to the teeth with flaming tennis balls, chainsaws, and flamethrowers. The voice actors behind the little creatures are doing incredible work, from Jones all the way down to Christopher Guest and his troupe of improvisers.
The toy factor of this 90s oddity works so well thanks to immaculate design work from the legendary Stan Winston. Winston and his team created over 237 figures for Small Soldiers, with up to five puppeteers controlling each individual figure. Using a combination of animatronics, puppets, and CGI, the lines are always blurred between where the real effects end and the animated ones begin. With the help of Industrial Light and Magic, these toys are the centerpiece of the film, and they always look downright incredible. The Gwendy dolls, once recruited to the cause, are pretty much terrifying evil Barbies voiced by the iconic pairing of Sarah Michelle Gellar and Christina Ricci. Even the Commando Elite—which would have been much easier craft-wise to just do a copy and paste job given that they are supposed to be soldiers—are all distinct enough with specialized personalities not to blend together. The real marvel though for this viewer has always been the Gorgonites: from leonine Archer to the Frankenstein-eseque Troglokhan to Ocula, a toy with a single eye and suction cup feet, each of the Gorgonites have a larger than life feel. Their striking uniqueness should have seen them embark on their own quest in the aftermath of the film’s conclusion. If only we got a sequel!
What of the human element of the story? Surprisingly enough, this portion still holds up incredibly well thanks to the layered performances from Kirsten Dunst and Gregory Smith. The latter holds the storylines of the Gorgonites together through his friendship with Archer. For Dunst’s part, her Christy never becomes just a damsel in distress in need of saving. Her personality and quirky charms make Christy a total badasss even when she does get captured by the Commando Elite. Watching Christy and Alan team up to swat endless Gwendy dolls as they scream ridiculous one-liners could not be more entertaining. A big romantic kiss between the duo sweetly showcases young love, and actually feels earned. Unlike most movies of the time, Small Soldiers also refuses to sideline any of its parental characters. Both Alan and Christy’s parents are paramount to the unfolding storyline. Tying everything together, once the toy designers return, all hell breaks loose, becoming a veritable war zone. The late Clint Walker, who played Christy’s father, has the film dedicated to his memory.
An excellent soundtrack, loaded with catchy hits like “War,” “Another One Bites the Dust,” “Wannabe,” and “Communication Breakdown,” was definitely my first exposure to many of these tracks as a young kid. The film’s score from Jerry Goldsmith is extremely underrated, namely that title track, “Assembly Line.” For 1998, there was a devotion to the look and overall tone that specifically catered to an unsung demographic. Hilariously enough, in the eleven minute behind the scenes look at the making of Small Soldiers featured as an extra, Smith and Dunst are cited as being best known for Harriet the Spy and Interview with the Vampire, respectively. Both would go on to have impressive careers ahead of them. The surprisingly comprehensive feature, only found on the Blu-Ray disc rather than the 4K, also emphasizes the complex filmmaking process, and Stan Winston’s staggering work on the sprawling production.
Why Small Soldiers never sparked a franchise is anyone’s guess. It grossed a total of $71.8 million worldwide off a $40 million budget, according to Box Office Mojo. Hasbro developed a line of toys based on the two factions, and they got a video game to go with it. The hard PG-13 rating probably did not help soften the movie up to the younger crowd, as it could be considered a bit too scary for preteens. Director Joe Dante has previously mentioned that he was asked to sand down much of the scarier elements once the studio had ideas to create a franchise.
Unfortunately, any sign of deleted scenes or excised footage is absent from this release. We do get a fun bloopers reel in addition to the “making of”, but it would be delightful to see an alternate cut, or further detailing on what was left on the cutting room floor. Perhaps even belated interviews from any cast or crew reflecting on the release would have been warranted. Instead, the features are pretty barebones. Still, this 4K release is definitely the best the film has looked yet, complete with epic steelbook artwork featuring both Archer and Major Chip Hazard. Perhaps one day, there will be a way to continue or reboot this fun story. Until then, we will always be able to pick this one off the shelf and go back to the toy sandbox of a simpler time.
Play with Small Soldiers, now on 4K and Blu-Ray.
