Every year, they start assaulting the senses like an endless torrent of freezing snowballs. Christmas movies from Hallmark, from Netflix, from every major streamer come out so quickly that keeping track of them all is a task only Santa and his list could accomplish. Lindsay Lohan returns (and executive produces!) her newest foray into the genre with holiday rom-com Our Little Secret. Co-starring with Pretty Little Liars heartthrob Ian Harding, Lohan embraces that same brand of whimsical silliness she brought to both Falling for Christmas and Irish Wish. Director Stephen Herk, responsible for stone-cold 90s classics like Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, The Mighty Ducks, and Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead, makes a charming movie, powered by the cutesy chemistry between its two leads. Though it will not win over any Scrooges, Our Little Secret channels rom-com breeziness and the natural charisma of its leads for a new Netflix flick that goes down easier than hot cocoa.
Initially set in 1996 and narrated by an observant father, we meet a younger, de-aged version of Avery (Lohan) and Logan (Harding). Though Avery’s mother has just passed away, she is still sticking with her plan of heading away for college. A charming animated opening easily captures their bond, as Logan becomes Avery’s emotional rock. Neither Lohan nor Harding are believable as teenagers, but will anyone really be watching expecting realism? Logan’s drunken proposal during a going-away party ruins their relationship, driving a wedge between the duo and altering the course of both their lives. After the opening, Our Little Secret then forgets about its narration, and plunges us into the present day as it zooms through a cheesy montage of real-world events on its way to a 2024 landing.
In present day, Avery and Logan are both dating fresh significant others. In a twist of dramatic irony, both are with siblings from the same wealthy family. At their annual Christmas party, Avery and Logan are finally going to meet the parents. Avery comes with Cam (Jon Rudnitsky), a schlubby mama’s boy, whilst Logan arrives in the arm of vapid blonde, Cassie (Katie Baker). The former couple are shocked to see one another, but they mutually make a deal to keep their previous relationship a secret to avoid any unnecessary tension. Mrs. Morgan (Kristen Chenoweth), the high-society mother of the family, subtly compares Avery to Logan’s “perfect” blonde sister-in-law, and has a clear bias towards the men. In exchange for helping him close a business deal, Logan will coach Avery on how to play nice and essentially “become a Morgan” to fit in with the family.
Yes, Our Little Secret absolutely is predictable in every way. In the same scene where Cam and Avery arrive at the Morgan home, an obvious romantic roadblock emerges for the character to clear a way to rekindle her romance with Logan instead. By spending so much time to focus on Avery and Logan in the beginning, could anything even remotely satisfying occur that does not end with them together? Still, by their very nature, most rom-coms are indeed predictable. You have to be willing to roll with the cliches in order to enjoy it; once getting past the genericness of the narrative, there’s plenty of fun to be had. Chenoweth steals the show as she leans into her character’s holier-than-thou persona. An ongoing gag where Erica always gets painted as the same age plays into Chenoweth’s natural beauty.
The single most hilarious scene occurs when Avery accidentally consumes a handful of weed gummies before attending mass with the Morgans. As she tries to stay composed, she hallucinates a talking statue, and must speak coherently in front of the entire congregation. More moments such as this one would have been welcomed, and a strange related bit where Avery blames Mrs. Morgan’s dog for binge-eating a bunch of cookies definitely comes close. With its animated interludes and straightforward humor, Our Little Secret leans into the chaos of familial expectations. Lindsay Lohan continues building up goodwill on the small screen, delivering tiny appetizers until her much-anticipated Freakier Friday hits theaters next year. While the holiday setting has minimal (if any) impact on the story, Our Little Secret captures the bittersweet charm of reconnecting with an old flame.
Our Little Secret threatens to get out, debuting to Netflix subscribers on Wednesday, November 27th.
